I haven't posted anything for a few days, mostly because I'm so tired, mentally and physically. I've barely been tweeting anything either I feel that blah.
I'm also noticing what seems to be becoming something of a cycle the last three weeks or so: I do my Methotrexate and Enbrel injections on Wednesday nights, but I don't think the drugs are lasting the full week. Starting Mondays or Tuesdays, I start getting more sore. My hands and feet, plus random other places. On offer today: my knees, elbows, wrists and neck.
Now, all of these places and others are sore/achy/cause brief sharp pain on and off at times, but this is something more consistent. And today they've been hurting for longer periods. I'm not saying they're killing me. This isn't comparable to the pain I felt when I had migraines before going on prophylactics – that pain had me lying on the bathroom floor contemplating smashing my head against the tiled wall to try to counteract the pain (oh, the joys of migraines!).
No, this pain is sharpish, but ongoing. Achy and ongoing. Throbbing and ongoing. And it's that ongoing nature that's set my teeth on edge and – partially – brought tears to my eyes (I say partially because part of the reason my eyes welled up is the thought that there might be no end to this cycle of awfulness...and that there is no end to the RA...).
The only time I ever went to the hospital because of a migraine was the time my doctor and I decided to stop my daily meds to see if the migraines had maybe, just maybe, stopped. I ended up with a migraine that wasn't too bad but that lasted for 72 hours. If the pain had lasted for less time I could have handled it, but by the time it got to about 60 hours, I'd had enough and couldn't take it anymore.
I sincerely believe pain is relative, for me at least. More intense pain of short duration is easier for me to handle than less intense pain of long and consistent duration.
And I'm trying to stay away from Tylenol because I want to get an absolutely unadulterated idea of exactly what the Methotrexate, Enbrel and diclofenac I'm on are doing for me so I can report that to my rheumatologist when I see her next month.
Anyway, that's pretty much it. Except this. If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now: RA seriously sucks.
